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Jamie, with all of her human defects and imperfections, had and has many lessons to give to me. Through everything she went through – she had a bold determination to do what she believed she needed to do. Though I don’t believe she saw it in herself – she had a strength – a magnificent inner core that guided her through many, many difficult life circumstances. I believe it was that inner core that allowed her to seek out and find help in the last moments of her life. It is such a relief to me to know she did not die alone – but with friends and family – although helpless to save her life – were undoubtedly able to comfort her with their mere presence. In Jamie’s Bible – she left me a gift in the form of
a verse “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” I feel that Jamie’s death is acting like a sifter in my own life. The petty disagreements, the slights, the felt wrongs from others have all simply fallen away. What is left in my heart is Jamie’s call – God’s call of forgiveness – and I believe this call of forgiveness has its roots in the importance of relationships. What is really important? Family. Friends. Relationships. Love. Caring. Though Jamie and I had many rough moments – in our last times together – we had met heart to heart – mother/daughter – friend/friend. I honor the spirit within her. The drive. To the rest of the world – a part time job at K-mart might not mean much. To her – it was her way to get back on track. She was looking forward to school – ironically, I think – modeling herself after my own experience. I too – was a single mother living in Jamestown. I too, lived on Medicaid and food stamps. But through love and support from my own parents and family and friends – I was able to change the path of my life. I went back to school – continuing my education to this day. Looking at what I had done, Jamie had commented that she knew she could do it too – and talked of entering the field of psychology to be able to help others. And that was Jamie was all about. She had a loving trusting spirit – and may have loved and trusted too much. I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the movie “Pay It Forward.” When a young man is given a class assignment to create a project that could change the world – he designs the pay it forward concept. Every person is to do a kind generous act to three different people. Those three people instead of paying it back – pay it forward to three more. Somewhere around the sixteenth level the number reaches forty-three million, forty-six thousand, seven hundred twenty-one people. After a few more levels the number exceeds the population of the world. Then everybody gets helped more than once. And then it gets bigger even faster – eventually changing the world. The Bible tells us “over come evil with good.” I do not want my daughter to have died in vain. I do not want her to be a here today – gone tomorrow gory headline. I want her life and her death to have meaning. If each one of you here – would – in memory of Jamie – pay it forward to three people – asking them to do the same – even if that means forgiving someone you did not think you could forgive – and asking them to pay that forgiveness forward – Jamie’s love and trust and belief in goodness will live on and on in this earth - just as her gentle spirit will live on with our Lord. I can picture Jamie, watching and listening to us now,– smiling and saying to each one of us … “Yes …. Pay it forward … with God’s love. ”
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